This whole moving thing is making me Uber-cranky, which in turn makes me laugh at myself. Here's a typical result of those mental gymnastics.
She's Back! MRS. CRANKY-PANTS! Now, more irritated than ever!
Full of unreasonable demands, snap judgements, and incisive criticisms, Mrs. Cranky-pants is ready to help you evaluate your performance of specific tasks. At no extra charge, she will also pass judgment on your intelligence and general worth. Since Mrs. Cranky-pants is a master of subtlety, this information will be conveyed to you using eye-brow gestures, uncomfortable stares, huffs of breath, louder-than-necessary footsteps, and other non-verbal but perfectly clear signals. You will be able to read her mind and know what she wants (unless you are a complete idiot).
Mrs. Cranky-pants will be glad to help rid you of your tendency to mumble, use non-specific language, ask questions more than once, or seek help for anything short of life-threatening injuries. If you have trouble judging personal space, she will create clarity with a single rebuff.
Call now to inconvenience Mrs. Cranky-pants: 1800 BUZZOFF. That's 1800 UGOAWAY. Figure it out.
My men-folk have read this and have commented on its accuracy, but not on its humorousness. How annoying.
ReplyDeletemmmm, well in MY house this woman resides AT LEAST 4-5 days a month...in a regular pattern. BUT no one but me seems to understand her. Maybe I should have my man and children read this and see what THEY think!
ReplyDeleteWell maybe they don't think it's too humorous now. We ladies have strange humor. We all act like this now and then. Told my daughter PMS stands for - Pass Me My shotgun.
ReplyDeleteThe Mrs. Cranky Pants at 2311 Bobolink Drive employs many of the same methods of communication as your Mrs. Cranky Pants. In addition, she utilizes the sound of loudly banging cabinet and dishwasher doors. Despite her best efforts though the inhabitants of said domicile continue about their business rarely (if ever) noticing the "non-verbal but perfectly clear signals" that she is emitting. Can I get a harrumph?!
ReplyDelete